There are days I sleep in. Other days, my Lord wakes me so we can talk. These are the most precious moments for me. I hear His soft voice like a whisper in my ear, “Arise my child.”
My times with Him usually happen in the early morning hours. My God is with me always, but it’s the early sunrises that we have our most intimate conversations. When all is peaceful and still, He comes.
I remember the night you revealed it to me in a dream. A young girl full of sorrow, there I lay on my bed, crying out to you like I so often did then. As I surrendered myself to you completely that night, a deep sleep came upon me. That’s when you came to me in my dreams, sweet Lord.
The Pharisees brought to him a woman caught in adultery…
When they had set her in the mist, they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses and the law commanded us that such should be stoned. What do YOU say, Jesus?”
But Jesus stooped down, and wrote on the ground with his finger, as though he didn’t hear them. So he’s officially ignoring them. So when they continued asking him, he raised himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.”
Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one; beginning with the oldest even to the last, and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. Jesus raised himself up, he saw no one but the woman, and he said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours. Has no one condemned you?”
She says, “No one Lord.”
Jesus said to her, “No doubt,” with a smile, “Neither do I charge you with an offense. Go and sin no more.”
Gosh, if you only knew what you do to me. Do you know it’s 4 am and I’m up thinking of you. The entire house is quiet. The world is sleeping. Yet, I am awake, wide awake. Sleepless. It’s like I can’t get enough hours in the day to think of you. Laying here in this quiet nights surrounding, I stare at the stars through the ceiling windows. The moonlight illuminates my soul, and all I can think of is your magnificence. Time keeps me awake thinking of all the things that you are made of. I’ve never known Love like the way I see it in you. I’ve now come to know the true meaning of sacrifice. You taught me that. How to sacrifice myself for the ones I love. I’ll do it a thousand times over now that I know. Wow. Another hour has passed and I’m here scolding myself to stop thinking of you and just fall asleep. Sleep is not my friend tonight. I’ve given up trying. Now I just lay here and go with it. I think of getting on my knees in prayer, but I don’t want to stop this feeling I have right now. I wonder if you know you keep me up at night. Sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes a night like tonight shows up, and well, all I can do is let go and let God. Tomorrow I can try to put it all back together. For now, I choose to enjoy these restless hours. I toss on the pillow and turn on my back. With my eyes towards the heavens I smile. That’s when I hear God say, “hold on to me.” His words bring me Peace, but still no sleep. I must be obedient. I glance at the clock, another hour has passed. Wow, this is getting intense. I open my bible to read the word, but every verse I read leads me right back to you. Lord, I’m helpless.
It’s all in my head. That’s what I tell myself when things start to take a turn towards disaster. The devil is always trying to come in and rob me of my joy. It must be all the happiness that I like to keep as company. It makes Satan angry. I sometimes wonder what the devil thinks when he looks at me. This person that he’s tried so hard to destroy. He threw everything in his book at me. Heartache, theft, depression, struggle, sin, guilt; you name it, I’ve experienced it. Yet I remain happy as a child each morning that I open my eyes. Blessed with another day God has granted me that I may bring joy to someone. There was a time when the devil had me at my ropes end, ready to just give it all up. Still here I am, standing strong, standing tall, in God’s love! Continue reading
Last night I was fighting demons in my dreams. I don’t mean that metaphorically. I’m speaking physical fighting, knife throwing, killing of demons. There was a group of God’s angels guarding a city, and real demons were trying to get in to destroy the people. I can recall the darkness I was in, and the feeling I felt when a demon appeared. Yet I was not afraid. It was like I had the armour of God’s protection around me, as I battled each one. I had the confidence that I would prevail and they would not. Still, the fighting was intense. I’d wrestle with them, and I’d kill them just as violently as they wanted to kill me. Continue reading