Gosh I’m Helpless


Gosh, if you only knew what you do to me. Do you know it’s 4 am and I’m up thinking of you. The entire house is quiet. The world is sleeping. Yet, I am awake, wide awake. Sleepless. It’s like I can’t get enough hours in the day to think of you. Laying here in this quiet nights surrounding, I stare at the stars through the ceiling windows. The moonlight illuminates my soul, and all I can think of is your magnificence. Time keeps me awake thinking of all the things that you are made of. I’ve never known Love like the way I see it in you. I’ve now come to know the true meaning of sacrifice. You taught me that. How to sacrifice myself for the ones I love. I’ll do it a thousand times over now that I know. Wow. Another hour has passed and I’m here scolding myself to stop thinking of you and just fall asleep. Sleep is not my friend tonight. I’ve given up trying. Now I just lay here and go with it. I think of getting on my knees in prayer, but I don’t want to stop this feeling I have right now. I wonder if you know you keep me up at night. Sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes a night like tonight shows up, and well, all I can do is let go and let God. Tomorrow I can try to put it all back together. For now, I choose to enjoy these restless hours. I toss on the pillow and turn on my back. With my eyes towards the heavens I smile. That’s when I hear God say, “hold on to me.” His words bring me Peace, but still no sleep. I must be obedient. I glance at the clock, another hour has passed. Wow, this is getting intense. I open my bible to read the word, but every verse I read leads me right back to you. Lord, I’m helpless.


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