It’s Your Birthday

lonely_birthday_by_leena_90-d5zeyag

It’s your birthday and I can’t even tell you hello.
Instead, I sit here and wonder how another year has passed without you.

Your birthday has somehow become like a holiday for me. I find myself thinking about your birthday the same way I think about Christmas, or Halloween, or even Easter. In an it’s always been there type of way. I sometimes wonder how it would be if God granted me just one birthday with you.  Where would I take you? What would I buy you? How would I celebrate to show you how very truly special you really are?

Birthday mornings are meant to be special.  I wake up and say happy birthday to you. As I take in the day, I daydream of what I would do if you were with me. How would I make it special for you. I picture me driving you to a park near a lake. We would spend the morning there with coffee and a cupcake, watching God’s wonderful Glory in the sunrise, as its image is reflected onto the water. We’d talk about how special the day is because it is the day this wonderful world was blessed with your spirit, and because we are together. I picture us sitting near a tree, you laying on your back resting your head on my lap. My fingers glide through your hair as we talk about happy stuff. I don’t know what we would talk about, but I picture us both laughing, in serene surroundings, that are as perfect as you are.

I catch myself celebrating your birthday the entire day. I tend to dress up a little, wear something nice to match the nature of my spirit.  You’re special day is always a big deal for me. It’s such a sweet day, I feel I should treat you to something nice, like a Starbucks coffee. Since you’re not here, I buy it and drink it for you. Whispering happy birthday before I take that first delicious sip.

I use to tell you happy birthday every year. Then one day I could not wish you a feliz cumpleanos anymore. Well I could wish it, I just couldn’t say it anymore. This makes me sad. It doesn’t mean I stopped remembering it. Instead, I whisper my birthday blessings to the heavens and ask the angels to deliver it for me.That has become the staple of my birthday wishes for you.

On that special day when I open my eyes, I always know it’s your birthday, and the first thing I do is wish you a blessed day. I always know it’s going to be a good day because happiness resonates in my soul when I think of you. No matter what the day holds in store for me, I vow to enjoy your special day until the end. So if you ever hear an angel whispering Happy Birthday into your ear, please know it comes from me. A special wish delivered on an angels wings; that your birthday may be filled with happiness, and joy, and all the good things that make you special. It’s your birthday, Happy Birthday!

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