There are days I sleep in. Other days, my Lord wakes me so we can talk. These are the most precious moments for me. I hear His soft voice like a whisper in my ear, “Arise my child.”
My times with Him usually happen in the early morning hours. My God is with me always, but it’s the early sunrises that we have our most intimate conversations. When all is peaceful and still, He comes.
I want to be the thing that you miss
Remember the time that we kissed
When I whispered your name
We got lost in the rain
And the storm chased us into the abyss
Can I be your friend…please
Can you not hate me anymore
I’m sorry for the idiocracy
Of my youngin days
But do you believe
That people change Continue reading
Early morning the sun rises. Laying in bed with a naked soul, I begin to stir to life. I push the covers down to my ankles, and stare at the heavy white curtains that cover the windows, keeping the world away. Sadly, they are blocking the beautiful sunrise as well. My bare feet touch down onto the worn carpet. Reaching for my pack of smokes, I light up my life. Tired from the night before, but ready for today. It sure has been a long time living life this way. Opening the cupboard, I grab a shot glass and fill it with Jack Daniels whiskey. Only the best for me. Tilting my head back, I sip the strong liquor and let it warm my hollow insides. I make my way to the refrigerator and take inventory for breakfast. Light beer, salsa, chips, and a styrofoam container filled with a mysterious meal. Playing it safe, I reach for the can of beer. Cracking it open and chugging it down like water. There you go buddy, time to come to life now.
I remember the night you revealed it to me in a dream. A young girl full of sorrow, there I lay on my bed, crying out to you like I so often did then. As I surrendered myself to you completely that night, a deep sleep came upon me. That’s when you came to me in my dreams, sweet Lord.
Maybe I spend to much time with you. Maybe I’m always wanting to breathe the same air that you breathe. Maybe when we’re apart, I look up into the sky, and thank the heavens that you and I share the same blanket of stars. Maybe knowing that somewhere in this world you stare at the same moon that I do, brings comfort to my soul. Maybe you are my breath, the one that God sent to restore life into me again. Maybe you did. Maybe you believe differently than I do, or maybe you have your own views of what you mean to this world. Maybe I will always see you for who you truly are, an angel. Maybe I scare you with my words. Maybe I know no other way to be. Maybe this is just me. Maybe this will always be me.
I went back home this past weekend. Sometimes I need that trip back home so I can re-gather my strength. The streets of the ghetto were covered in ice and slush, and every corner I turned seemed to be colder than the first.
You were in my dreams again last night. I’m not even surprised anymore. It’s become a familiar dream now. Since it happens so often. I sometimes wonder are my dreams just a fiction of my imagination, or does it all mean something deeper. I struggle on the edge of a fine line between wanting to believe all that is meant, yet restraining myself just enough so I don’t fall over the cliff, and go plunging into a darkness unknown to me. But when I close my eyes, and see you as real as love itself, it all feels so right.
I never had a love so crazy, where I’m posting it all over the internet and showing it off on Facebook. I’ve seen the posts on different sites, always reading them and thinking…awww, to have a love like that. Then I would keep scrolling up until the next post of a couple looking happy in love. It made me stop and think, who has my heart? Who am I so crazy in love with that I want to show it off, and share with the world who my love belongs to. Then I thought of Jesus, and my heart melted, and a warm feeling came over my bones. My heart began to palpitate wildly with fast beats, and excitement was forming like a bubble in my tummy. The more I thought of him, the deeper in love I fell. I started to wonder why I didn’t fall in love with him a long time ago. I’ve always loved him, I’ve always believed in him, but falling in Love was something foreign to me. One thought of Jesus brought it all back. The way his Love flows like a river in my veins, has me feeling like I’m floating. Knowing that he will carry me, and has carried me, my whole life; brings on a feeling of peace that I think most wives feel with their husbands. Jesus is teaching me what falling in Love is all about. But if you really want to know who is King of my heart, just love up to Jesus. He holds my heart so close to him, that you have to truly know him in order to find me.